


love in disaster

by hellogoodbye_god



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: After The Fall (Hannibal), Complex Love, First Kiss, M/M, No proofreading, Obsession, Post-Canon, Post-Fall (Hannibal), We Die Like Men, mentions of cannibalism, thats pretty obvious i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:13:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26659519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellogoodbye_god/pseuds/hellogoodbye_god
Summary: hannibal loves will. will loves him back. time to talk about that
Relationships: Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	love in disaster

After the fall, things had drastically changed for the doctor and the detective.

Though they never said it in as many words, Hannibal and Will knew how they felt about each other. It could be called love, though it felt like an understatement of their relationship.

Love was simply one descriptor.

Obsession is another that comes to Doctor Hannibal Lecter's mind when he pondered their emotional intimacy, particularly on his end.

He couldn't take his mind off of Will for even a moment, it seemed. Hannibal was immediately obsessed with ever minor detail of the man. His looks, his scent. His ticks and fidgets, small behaviors no one else would bother to notice. All of these small things were beautiful to Hannibal. The messy way his hair would curl up when it was wet. The way his breath would hitch when he gets nervous. The anxious way he would look around like he was being watched. More recently, the slight limp he had from hurting his leg in the fall. All of it was imperfect perfection, and Hannibal could not get enough.

Hannibal's favorite thing about Will by far however had to be his eyes. When they had first met, Will expressed his dislike for any sort of eye contact. However, when it came to Doctor Lecter, that was a very short lived issue. Will would often look into Hannibal's eyes like he was trying to find some sort of answer in them. A clue to what Hannibal was thinking, who he was behind that person suit.

Hannibal had grown to love those eyes. The blue-green color reminded Hannibal of the water, which he thought fitting for his fisherman. The intense way Will would stare into his eyes intrigued him. And quickly, Hannibal began to stare just as intently.

The long glances between friends became something more sensual. At least to Hannibal. Hannibal had been fascinated by the younger man since the very beginning, but now there was a deeper understanding behind those eyes. They were connected in ways neither of them could dream of understanding.

The physical form had been a fascination for Hannibal since he was young. It was why the medical field had been so appealing to him. It was why his... culinary habits developed the way they did. The human body was an imperfect masterpiece. Fragile, beautiful, and utterly meaningless in the end. Hannibal had a genuine appreciation for the form.

That included Will's form.

He would often find himself tracing his body with his eyes. Watching his breathing. His neck, his hands. His stomach whenever he stretched enough for his shirt to lift just a bit. Hannibal considered Will to be one of the most beautiful creatures he'd ever had the pleasure of admiring. He had lost the desire to eat him when he began pondering what it would be like without Will being around to admire. The irrational positives of keeping his beauty around far outweighed the practical desire to kill.

He and Will had moved out of the country, to a small cabin out in god only knows where. Hannibal had made very careful arrangements to make sure they wouldn't be caught. As far as anyone back home knew, they were dead. He wanted to keep it that way. This arrangement hadn't been Hannibal's favorite in terms of living space and habits, but Will seemed comfortable as he could be given their situation, and that was all he could hope for.

Will had been relaxing on the couch with the dog, a stray that Hannibal found for him. He wasn't much of a dog person himself, but he knew Will missed his dogs back home. He even lead the dog back to the cabin with food, letting Will find the dog himself, pretending he didn't know the dirty mutt. She was a big dog, probably a German shepherd mix. Will had called her Daisey, which Hannibal found more endearing than he would let on. She had been what kept Will going while he healed from the fall.

The two of them had fallen into a sort of domestic routine. They would eat together, greet each other good morning. They would both help out around the house, take care of the dog, and every other mundane task that came with having a roommate. Neither of them mentioned how close they were getting. They didn't have to. There was a silent, mutual understanding.

Will wanted more than that. As did Hannibal. Each waiting on the other to make their first move, like a chess game, each player one move away from checkmate.

Will lovingly scratched behind Daisey's ears, before looking over at Hannibal and catching his eyes. Hannibal hadn't even noticed he'd been staring at Will until Wills ocean eyes brought him out of his trance like state. There was a glimmer of amusement in Will's eyes that made a smile tug at Hannibal's lips.

"Lost in thought, Doctor?" Will teased a bit, refocusing on Daisey.

"Mmm... can't hide anything from you Will, can I?"

"Care to tell me what you're thinking?"

"Just considering our friendship."

"Friendship..."

Neither of them were quite sure that was the right word. They weren't romantically involved. They slept in separate beds, they hadn't ever kissed. But those weren't requirements to feel a mutual love for one another.

"Our... dynamic. How it has evolved."

"I suppose that is to be expected, considering our troubling circumstances,"

Hannibal set down the coffee he had brewed minutes earlier, and went to sit in the chair across from Will. This positioning felt familiar. They often fell back into their doctor/patient mannerisms, though what they discussed now was much different. The formality of their talks had lowered even more than the relaxed state they had been before, Hannibal not dressed for professional work, but for home comfort. His sweaters were a favorite, Will would tease about them, though he quietly admired the way they draped over Hannibal's thin frame.

"Tell me, Will... do you regret running away with me?"

"Not at all." There wasn't a hint of hesitation in Will's voice, which surprised Hannibal, though he wouldn't make that obvious.

"What about your wife? Your son?"

Will went quiet for a moment in contemplation.

"They were... a pleasant distraction. I wanted something like that... a family."

"So you made one. Yet you were quickly willing to leave with me. Why?"

"Because... as nice a thought as a family was, it isn't what I'm meant for. I put them in danger. Following you... was a deeper desire that I don't entirely understand."

There were a few moments of silence between the two, but finally Hannibal spoke up.

"Do I scare you, Will?"

"Yes."

"Blunt,"

"I told you I would always be honest, as long as you do the same... it's reasonable to be afraid of someone like you. That doesn't mean that I don't... hold certain affections."

"Affections?" Hannibal's eyes flicked over Wills body. Will straightened up a bit.

"You are exactly what I am made to understand... we aren't like everyone else. Whether that be through neuroses in common or a shared nurture of our darker nature, it seems only inevitable that we would keep finding each other."

"I must admit, I feel very similarly... I have grown more fond of you than I had ever intended."

"You intended to eat me, Hannibal."

"Affection for a pig makes the slaughter more difficult,"

Will let out a gentle, almost inaudible laugh. Breathy and mostly smile. Hannibal loved that smile. Those lips. The way his eyes would wrinkle up a bit when he smiled. It was beautiful. Will was beautiful.

"You know, Will, I don't think I could've in clear conscience killed you. I feel guilt over even the attempt to end your life,"

"Glad to know that if you change your mind about killing me, you'll at least feel bad,"

The two smiled over the stupid joke. They spent a few minutes in comfortable silence, Will stroking a very sleepy Daisey's head. Finally, Will spoke up, taking a very gentle tone.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Ask me anything you'd like,"

Will sat up a bit straighter, avoiding Hannibal's eyes again. While they had gotten quite used to the eye contact, when he was uncomfortable, Will still looked down. Hannibal always respected that, made an effort to not stare.

"Are your feelings for me anything more than a longing to have someone who understands you?"

Hannibal took a moment to collect his response, not sure how he wanted to approach. He promised Will he would always be honest. He was making a genuine effort to be.

"My feelings for you are complex, and even I am only just learning about them. But to answer your question, no. I hold affections that are more about you than it is what you understand."

"... your psychiatrist said that you loved me... I asked, and she answered... was she telling the truth?"

"Bedelia was being honest... what I feel for you could be considered love, yes."

"Platonic?"

"Not entirely."

"... I think that I feel somewhat similarly..."

"Platonic?"

"Not entirely."

Hannibal smiled. He was ever so amused by the way things evolved between them. Will used to be so timid with how he felt in the beginning. The empathetic detective consultant was a genius when it came to other people's emotions, but he tended to hold his own close to his chest. Hannibal often wondered if he knew Will better than Will knew himself. 

"Why have you never said anything?"

"Because I did not want to push you farther than I already have, Will,"

Another silence followed. Not entirely uncomfortable for either party.

"I apologize for getting you so involved in all of this,"

Will seemed genuinely surprised to hear this. Hannibal wasn't exactly the most empathetic or apologetic person. Will knew that. But Hannibal seemed genuine in this case. The glimmer of sadness in the doctors eyes seemed a bit too real to be more manipulation.

"It's... it's alright, Hannibal... I might have been better off without you, but... I feel more myself when I'm with you than when I'm alone. I wouldn't take it back,"

"Will..." Hannibal got up from his chair and sat next to Will. He let his hand gently rest on Will's knee. "I let you live for selfish reasons... what you want from me is not something I can be sure will be good for you in any capacity."

"I know what you are... who you are... and I've seen that you can change, even if I can't expect... anything drastic. I've changed you as much as you've changed me..."

"More than you'd know..."

Will reached up and gently rested his hand on Hannibal's cheek. His eyes looked from Hannibal's eyes to his lips.

"We have both done... irredeemable things... why not just... get better together? Away from everyone else..."

"You... amaze me, Will Graham..."

Will laughed gently, and Hannibal placed his larger hand over Wills.

The two of them shared a tender look, one that communicated more than any words possibly could. Will leaned in, finally sealing the space between their lips. Hannibal kissed Will deeper, and Will submitted under his touch. Given the chance, he'd never let go, but Will pulled away when the two were out of breath.

"You're not getting rid of me any time soon, Hannibal..."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Will."

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys!! this is my first ever published fic!!! im really nervous about it, but i hope you like it,,, hannigram isnt something i thought id be as fascinated in as i am lmao
> 
> if theres anything youd ever like to see me write, pls leave suggestions!!


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